Making Amends with Others has positioned itself in the public eye to a degree that many of the other eleven steps haven’t. That’s because it attempts to rectify the outward consequences of the disease. Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct amends for certain offenses against others. To help, we’ve compiled a list of examples of making amends in recovery that deal with ambiguous scenarios.

  • Perhaps while you were in active addiction, you betrayed your loved one by stealing money from them.
  • Making living amends primarily benefits you and not the people you’ve wronged in the past.
  • We likely promised to sober up in the past, only to revert to alcohol abuse or another drug of choice.
  • Forgiveness may not come on our timetable, but what gives us the right to set the timetable?
  • The 12 step promises help individuals regain a sense of confidence and purpose in their lives.

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  • All we can do is get sober, be the best person we can be and, above all, be patient.
  • State how you are taking personal responsibility for the hurt you’ve caused.
  • I’m not his teacher, and I’m sure she’s skilled at handling that type of problem.
  • In all of these circumstances, your AA or NA sponsor and your support network are crucial aspects during the amends process.
  • Step 2 is about finding faith in some higher power, and the accompanying principle of hope means that you should never give up that faith, even when you suffer a setback.
  • We’re telling the world, “Addiction made me behave a certain way. I don’t like it, and it doesn’t reflect the person I want to be in recovery.”

Guilt and shame anchor people to their past and trap them in old ways that prevent them from growing and moving on with their lives. By tackling step nine, recovering alcoholics can be freed from their past, including addiction. The beauty of this process for newcomers and those unsure of where to go next is that their recovery from alcoholism is outlined in twelve in-depth action steps. Many alcoholics are guided through the steps by a sponsor, but some individuals complete the steps on their own. AA’s step work has been adjusted for use in other addiction recovery programs, such as sex addiction or drug addiction.

Promises to do things differently

With this option, the individual in recovery takes steps to improve their relationships and demonstrate their lifestyle change. They may visit family members and friends more often, set aside time to spend with their partner or donate their time to a worthy cause. Direct amends refers to going directly to the wronged individual, apologizing and taking whatever action is necessary to correct a situation.

Making Living Amends in 12 Step Recovery

  • I kept “forgetting” about that amend, trying to push it out of my mind.
  • More often than not, step nine will be painful, but also equally freeing.
  • An amends is not an apology or “I’m sorry” for a wrongdoing.
  • Some of these same things can happen to the other person in the process.
  • A full continuum of care treating addiction and dual diagnoses with medication-assisted treatment, family therapy, and holistic therapies in Northern California.
  • If he specifically asks for my opinion, which he doesn’t, I will give it.

Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) addresses compulsions related to relationships, referred to as codependency. Living amends require a voluntary fundamental redirection. We are not tied to the old behaviors of our disease, or to our character defects. Although it sounds lofty, there are realistic, achievable ways to implement examples of making amends.

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What’s the Difference between Making Amends and Offering an Apology?

  • When he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions.
  • By 1950, the organization could boast of having helped 500,000 people overcome their dependence on alcohol.

The four categories determine the manner in which the recovering alcoholic will express their amends. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power. The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. We can also make a living amends by changing the behaviors that hurt or harmed them, and we can let go of the all-consuming guilt that would only tempt us to use again.

What Is Step 8 in AA? – Alcohol Addiction – Verywell Mind

What Is Step 8 in AA? – Alcohol Addiction.

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Of all the 12 steps, Step 9 is often referred to as particularly challenging. Understanding why will require taking a closer look at what Step 9 is, its goals, and its possible outcomes. We’ll also include a Step 9 living amends amends letter for anyone who wants to implement this step but isn’t sure how to. If you promised your father to help him mow the lawn on Sundays, but years have passed, and you’ve never once shown up, start now.

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